there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
