we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
