Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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