Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
