I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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