Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
