CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
