I wish my penis had an off switch
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
