So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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