oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
