She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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