I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
