yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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