he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
