i'm signing you up for texting rehab
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
