haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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