I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i dont even know how to be here
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
