P.S. I can't hear my feet
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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