Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
