Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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