Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
