dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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