God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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