Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
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You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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