Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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