it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
