I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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