Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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