so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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