is your mom at the bar?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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