is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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