Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
