This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
