Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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