sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
