The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize