my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
