yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
