i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
