I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
