just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
