4 words: hood of his car
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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