i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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