I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You don't make any sense
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