Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
