I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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