woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
that is very illegal...i love you.
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