Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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