We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
