I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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