so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
