dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize