I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
