just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
