Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
