Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this just has baby written all over it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
