thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
