We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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