Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize