i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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