He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
