Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
